In Defence Of Sons

During a ‘Daughters Day,’ I came across an opinion “A daughter is not a tension, she is equal to 10 sons”, the statement being too strong it set me thinking how far it is justified.

This opinion must have come from the depths of the heart of a parent whose son heartlessly abandoned his parents in the twilight years of their lives.

The reason is that daughters generally do have a soft spot in their hearts for those who brought them up giving them their own and never living their own lives to the full. This being the case they voluntarily offered to do the needful as their guardian angels.

The parents too are in my opinion accountable to some extent for the callous behavior of the sons who are more often than not pampered silly throughout from their childhood to even to adulthood. Apart from their natural affection for the sons there lurks the justifiable hope that they will be the staff they can hold on to in the instability of their old age.

This does not always work, unfortunately. This pampering results in the sons becoming full of themselves and completely self-absorbed that little room is left for them to have sensitive feelings towards others, especially the parents whom they take for granted.

Apart from their natural affection for the sons there lurks the justifiable hope that they will be the staff they can hold on to in the instability of their old age. This does not always work, unfortunately.

This pampering results in the sons becoming full of themselves and completely self-absorbed that little room is left for them to have sensitive feelings towards others, especially the parents whom they take for granted.

Without the least thought of giving them back their well deserved affectionate care and respect.

I am not blind to what is happening in our society. sons in many cases change beyond belief once they get married, sometimes in the initial years itself snapping their ties with their parents without any tricks of conscience leave alone qualms of it, all gradually drifting apart permanently. In both situations the pain caused is unfathomable.

While reckoning all this, one should not lose sight that there still exists sons who do show filial love and gratitude till the end.

Married sons in a joint family are challenged with a tight rope walking, balancing the interests of their wives and parents, belonging as they do to different generations and backgrounds do not make a homogeneous group.

That being the case, clashes occur at times. The sons in such situations find themselves in a vexing dilemma. But if they are prudent, they sort out the issues in time so as to prevent them from snowballing into bigger issues that may ultimately lead to separation. The efforts of such sons are really exemplary and laudable.

In this connection, I venture to assert that all daughters are not affection and warmth personified.

I have come across daughters who cleverly try to avoid attending to their parents in their hour of need when the responsibility of looking after them falls on their shoulders when certain unavoidable circumstances arise.

Even if they let them live in their families they are made to feel they are a nuisance, a burden, a pain in the neck they are forced to put up with. They too do not hesitate to leave their parents under the roof of an old age home.

Once the parents have outlived their utility when they would like them to be out of sight as they are already out of mind. They like to be rid of all responsibility so that the even tenor of their lives will remain undisturbed.

While eulogizing the daughters as angels incarnate let us not bitterly demonise sons en masse. To put this in other words placing daughters on a high pedestal let the sons be not pulled down drastically.

“A daughter is not a tension, she is equal to 10 sons”, I opine is a sweeping generalization, because there are exceptions in both cases.

 

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Youth and Old Age

 

Old age is the stage when one hankers not after luxurious goods

But only harbours the hope of hearing a few sweet words

Alas, the fulfilment of this wish often remains elusive

For the youth of the day have their own life to live

For us the ancients, they have little of no time to spare

So conversations with them becomes ever so rare

We the dull oldies are woefully ignorant of the current in thing

Hence, in the eyes of the smarties, we are simply nothing.

 

Our eager queries seldom fetch in reply not more than a monosyllable

We unnecessarily talk to them they think, because we have no work, we are idle

Our words of advice, (if we dare give it) fall on deaf ears

They are sure they are mature beyond their years

Every poser is answered after a long pause, maybe to curb our urge to talk more

Fearing our insipid chat?

Our normal talk is to them a source of irritation

For which we fail to see any rhyme or reason

The best way therefore is to keep mum

Taking in our stride their every fancy and whim.

 

This indifferent attitude of theirs is sometimes hard to endure

But they still love us about which we are very sure.

 

 

Published in ‘Harmony’, June 2008